Just after Halftime

I'm writing this now (after quite a hiatus - I know, I know . . .) because it doesn't matter who wins (for the purposes of these comments). Baltimore should be ashamed that they've had to work this hard - and should have been two weeks ago, and Cleveland should have been last week - to play a team seriously hurt by injuries, especially Big Ben's.

Now I've never bought the idea that Big Ben is the Second Coming - certainly not of Jesus, not even of Terry Bradshaw. But he's a good quarterback, and the Steelers have come to completely rely on him - so they're pretty lost without him.

As for Byron Leftwich, maybe if he had admitted to the injury against the Ravens two weeks ago, Charlie Batch could have finished that game and warmed up a little for Cleveland and for this week. I like Charlie Batch for a lot of reasons, but he's not as young as he used to be, and until last week, he hadn't played in about a gazillion years . . .

I hope he pulls this out, because of course, it matters very much that the Ravens lose (always). But in spite of all the oopses, the Steelers are not looking any worse than their relatively healthy rivals.

Go Stillers!

The Saga of the Blue Dress

So. I ordered a terrific wrap-style blue dress for my nephew's wedding from the Gap. I really don't need a new dress, but it's gorgeous, reasonably priced, and appropriate for conferences as well as weddings. And wrap-around dresses have been my favorite since the first one Diane von Furstenberg whipped up. When I ordered it, they said the free shipping would take 7-10 days. No problem - the wedding was then two weeks away. But guess what? they meant 7-10 days from the shipping date, not the ordering date. I got the email that said it had been shipped yesterday, October 11, and it said that it was guaranteed to arrive by October 23.

Well. The wedding is October 21. And how is that 10 days from anything? I suppose they mean 10 business days, but couldn't they have said so? I'm an avid Amazon shopper, so I'm used to free 2-day shipping on everything from books to televisions to pasta (yes, really, pasta). So it seems as if I actually might "fall into The Gap," for anyone old enough to remember that advertising campaign.

I took my car for service today, then went to a mall north of Clarksburg. It was such a thrill - shopping at Target, Marshall's, J.C. Penney . . .  I've been in the mountains two months now, so it doesn't take much to excite me.

Last night, the conversational Spanish class for faculty went to a fabulous Mexican restaurant in Weston. I can never imagine how people from just outside Mexico City land where they do - especially when it's Weston, West Virginia.

Wait, what's that? This is supposed to be a Steelers' blog you say? Ha!

I would never in a million years be grateful for the vice presidential debate, but this time, I am - because it tied up the networks so that the game was only on the NFL Network, which I don't get. So I didn't have to watch it. (Before the game, I said, I don't GET to watch it.) I see from various sources that there were records matched or broken, that players are outdoing the dynasty players of the 1970s.

But the difference is the teams of the 1970s WON. And usually with touchdowns, not field goals.

That is all.

Oh. And that darned dress better get here in time.

Pretty in Pink; Ugly on the Field

So let's work backwards. Yes, the Steelers won. But it was hardly pretty. The beginning was atrocious. The middle picked up a little. The end could have caused everyone in Steeler Nation to have a heart attack.

Here are my two main problems with the Steelers this year, and frankly, every year:

1. We're too willing to settle for field goals. Both of those 3-pointers should have been touchdowns. Even when Ben's having a good day, something goes wrong on third down far too often.
2. Penalties.
3. Penalties.
4. Did I mention Penalties?

Okay, that's still two. The Steelers were penalized nine times for 106 yards. 106 yards. That's a touchdown and better field position on the next kickoff. I love that we're rough and tough and play that way, but there were too many late hits that were obvious, and would have been even to the good old replacement reps. And penalties on four consecutive snaps? Ouch.

Come on, Coach Tomlin - let's get some discipline in the team. A 2-point win could easily have been a disaster.

And part two: Pink.

First, it's definitely not Dick LeBeau's color.

But more importantly: How much good are shoes, gloves, and hats on NFL players and staff actually doing in the fight against breast cancer? I know that those items are auctioned off and the funds go into awareness activities and screenings for uninsured and underinsured women. That's all fine.

But awareness? Anyone who isn't aware of breast cancer has been living in a cave. We don't need any more awareness - we don't need any more NFL gloves, yogurt labels, pink ribbons on our Facebook pages. What we need is more research - into both causes and cures. 

That said, if anyone wants to buy Max Starks' gloves for me, let me know!

Where in the World is Steeler Gurl?

Well, Glenville, West Virginia.

If you've been wondering what happened to this blog (and who isn't), I have to tell you - so am I. I found out in late June that I would be moving to West Virginia to take a tenure track job teaching English and journalism at Glenville State College. That threw the summer - and most of the preseason - into chaos.

I moved in mid-August, but my house wasn't ready until two weeks later. I've been settled in now for almost a month, but for various reasons and skipping over many long stories, I didn't have cable and internet (working internet, that is) installed until Saturday. My TV and TV stand will be delivered Wednesday.

But all was not lost for this Steeler Gurl. My husband (Hi, Vaughn!) left his laptop with the built-in television so I could watch last night's game.

That was when all WAS lost. I really don't think I have much to add to the conversation. If I were Ben, I'd be furious with what the Steelers were laughingly calling their defense. How frustrating to have such a great game - along with Heath "Mr. Reliable" Miller and other offensive players - and then to have the defense blow it so badly. It's like the Pirates leaving players on base inning after inning (not that that ever happens).

Granted, we handed Oakland the ball more than once. And the replacement officials make the Keystone Kops look like a serious crime drama.

But the big thing? The penalties. And the penalties. Did I mention the penalties?

Clean up your act, Oh Boys of Black and Gold. There's a long season ahead, and it will seem much longer if the games go the way of last night's.

Pre-Season? snore . . .

So my faithful followers (hello, you two!) may be wondering why I haven't posted about the preseason yet. I'm wondering about that myself. I used to love the preseason, and strongly objected to plans to limit it - I need to see the players in a low-stakes situation and decide who I liked and why.

Or so I thought.

But the two games so far just looked like sloppy practice sessions. Is it just me, or has the purpose and tone of the preseason changed?

And last night I had to put up with Chris Collingsworth. Sorry, Steelers, love you like brothers, but if I have to listen to his drivel to watch you . . .  Well, you know I'll always watch, but I can't promise I won't throw things at the television.

Last night was a new experience for me - I watched the game alone. I'm staying with a friend who was sick and went to bed early, so it was just me, the TV, and Chris - oh, never mind. This was a stark contrast to last week's game, which I watched with a bunch of rowdy friends and could hardly concentrate on the game at all. Of course, with that game, it was ok to miss huge chunks . . .

So I have no insightful comments. I think the Steelers totally rock and should be able to take it all, but I'm looking forward to real games, not scrimmages in disguise.

Meanwhile, it was the first day of classes. A student asked if it would hurt his grade if he wasn't a Steeler fan. I asked him who he rooted for: the Ravens. I took my pen and my tablet and wrote a giant F on the pad and showed it to him.

Really? The Ravens?

Sigh. Today's youth . . .

No Room in the Sports Pages

My friends and regular readers (about 27 total - you make the Venn diagram . . .) know that I'm not just Steeler Gurl, I'm pretty much Pittsburgh Football Gurl. I was introduced to the Pittsburgh Power, the Arena Football League team, this year, and I've long been a supporter of the Pittsburgh Passion. So when the Post Gazette did a feature on the three women's football teams in town (Passion, Force and Three Rivers Xplosion), I was thrilled. Except for one thing.

It wasn't in the sports section. It was in the magazine section.

I'm old enough to remember when the magazine was called "the women's pages" because it covered trivial things of no interest to men - recipes, household tips, advice columns. This was the same era when, believe it or not, classified ads were divided into "Help Wanted - Men" and "Help Wanted - Women."

I graduated from high school the year Title IX was passed. When younger women in my running club ask me if I ran track or cross country in high school, they have no clue why I either laugh too shrilly or shake my head sadly.

I haven't been to a Force or Xplosion game, but I love the style of play exhibited by the Passion. They play hard. They go for it on fourth down. They want the touchdown, not the field goal. And they never, ever take a knee - they play every play till the final buzzer. Let's see the NFL get behind that kind of game.

We've come a long way, baby - I think we deserve to be on the sports page.

Kousin Kordell

Pittsburgh! I was out of town for a mere 36 hours, and while I was gone, an old quarterback controversy got stirred up. I'm talking, of course, about the re-signing and retirement of Kordell Stewart - Slash.

I was always a fan of Stewart - for one thing, it was the first time I could get a legitimate Steeler jersey with my own name on it. But it was also the first time that I suspected that there was trouble in River City/offensive and quarterback coaching department.Why did such an obviously talented athlete have such a roller coaster career - or "ebb and flow" as he called it?

One factor - and that factor remains an issue for Big Ben - was lack of protection from the offensive line. Like Ben, Kordell got hit. A lot. According to Sportometry.com, Stewart lost a total of 902 yards in his career with the Steelers, an average of 7.9 yards per game - and some years were much worse than average.

Stewart took a lot of criticism. That's another occupational hazard of quarterbacking for the Steelers. Happily, Wednesday's retirement was a class act on the part of the Steelers, Stewart, and the fans.

Stewart's mobility helped redefine the role of the quarterback in the NFL. Welcome home, Kousin Kordell. We'll even forgive that stint with the Purple Browns.

Throw-Back Uniforms?

Throw 'em back! As my friend Kristin said, there's a reason why no one has worn these jerseys since 1934. I can't tell if this is a football jersey or a jail uniform, but either way, it's hideous. If I were the mannequin, I'd be grateful they didn't show my face . . .

I snagged this picture from the Steelers' Facebook photo page - what do you think, gentle (and not-so-gentle) readers?

Dahn 'air Sahside 'n Up 'air Uptahn 'n at . . .

So tonight I met my running club in the Southside. On my way back to my car, I stopped in a little shop with cool stuff in the window, where I found a memorial (there's no other word) tee shirt for the Civic (not Mellon) Arena. I asked the charming young man if it would make me too sad to wear it . . .  He said he could see the Arena from his house (not Alaska, the Arena. I believed him) and it made him very sad too . . .

So I told him my Civic Arena stories. The year the Arena opened, it hosted a celebration of Girl Scouting's 50th anniversary, and my Brownie Troop went. The seats were so high I was terrified and spent most of the event on the more solid walkway at the top, behind all the seating, peering down the aisle to see the show.

And speaking of high: In the early 1970s - I'd guess 1973 - I saw the Greatful Dead there and they had to open the roof to blow out the smoke - and I don't mean tobacco. I can still hear that "Sugar Magnolia" in my head.

I didn't mention that I was an extra there in possibly the worst movie ever made: The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.

I've been sad ever since the final decree came down. I've been sad every time I've driven by and seen parts of the Arena hanging by a thread. My ever-prescient stepdaughter said that the fact that it put up a fight, that it refused to lie down and die, should have sent a message to those who wanted to see it destroyed. So true . . .

Did the city destroy a neighborhood when the Arena was built? Yes. We all get that now. Will the Hill come back because it's gone? We all know the answer to that, too.

When I was in junior high, there was a picture of the Civic Arena in our algebra book - a beacon of hope in a city where there wasn't much to feel pride in. We may feel we have more to be proud of now, but our respect for our past doesn't seem to be any part of it. Don't be surprised when the Arena site follows in the footsteps of the site of the lamented Syra Mosque, now an ill-kept surface parking lot. We believed the big talk about development there, too . . .

And to the Penguins and their foundation - I won't be buying a Penguins commemoration made from the stainless steel. It was the Penguins who forced the new arena, such as it is, and who refused to listen to reason on plans for the old. And as fond as I am of Wendall August Forge, when I read in the paper that they had signed that deal well before any final judgments about the Arena were made, I saw red, not stainless . . . If I ever meet Mario Lemeiux again, I'm going to tell him my plan to become famous in Montreal and then insist on destroying a major landmark there.

But in more cheerful news, our young people are getting it. The Southside store is called Decade (Wait a minute, isn't that a club in Oakland? How old am I?), and it's on Carson, river side, around 14th Street. Here's the tee (I wish it didn't say Igloo, but at least it doesn't say Mellon Arena). Go get one. Wear it to all events at the entirely unappealing Consol. Tell 'em Max sent you.

Who Has the Power?

Not the Pittsburgh Power Arena Football League team, apparently. Certainly not their players.

I made my first visit to the Consol Energy Center Friday night to see the Power with friends who are season ticket holders. More on them later . . .

There are many reasons to dislike, if not loathe, the management of this team. In order of increasing importance:

• Their annoyingly unnavigable website.
• Their offensive advertising: They plastered the school where I teach with posters that read, "Before you waste money on books . . . Get student-section season tickets." Waste money on books? Ouch.
• Their ruthless, take-no-prisoners labor practices.

That, of course, is the sticking point. To review information available on several sports news websites:  In anticipation of a strike, owner Matt Shiner fired the entire team - 24 members -- during dinner at an Olive Garden restaurant in the Orlando area before the season opener. Some players gave up their union membership and played - the rest of the positions were played by what the team called "replacement players" and what anyone else in the City of Pittsburgh would call scabs. Players who did not repent were left to find their own way back to the 'Burgh, where they found themselves evicted from player housing.

In the meantime, the team has hired back many of those players, with the significant exception of quarterback Kyle Rowley, now doing very well in Spokane, Washington.

Not coincidentally, the team has suffered in both performance and attendance. According to Adam Gretz of  the "Steelers Lounge" blog (really, guys? no apostrophe?), the Power averaged 9,480 last season, and set an AFL record with 13,904 at last season's opener.

Friday night? 4,000.

Note to Matt Shiner, and his co-owners Lance Shiner and Lynn Swann: Pittsburgh is a labor-friendly city built by union steelworkers. Also, we love football. So if you are going to break a union, and that union is made up of football players playing for the love of the game instead of the potential to become obscenely wealthy, chances are your fan base is going to shrink.

And if your team keeps losing, it is going to shrink even more.

But enough about that. The game.  OMG, the game. OMG, MSG, PTL, USB, the game. Fast, furious, and fascinating. All passing - there were fewer than half a dozen run plays, and only one of them was successful (a quarterback sneak for the Iowa Barnstormers). Go for it on fourth down every time - the field's too short to make punting a reasonable option. Extra point? The crossbar is only nine feet wide.

The Power was ahead by one point at the half (the Iowa kicker missed an extra point), but in the second half the game took on the unmistakeable air of a Steeler game - the officials turned against the home team and called penalties on nonexistent violations and refused to see blatant acts of roughing the passer and pass interference against the Power.

Things went rapidly downhill, and the game ended with a 55-42 Power loss, their third in a row.

Still. It was great fun. Bubba, the Power announcer, is fabulous - He was able to say "Hines completes the pass to Hymes" without fumbling. Wide receiver P.J. Berry is both talented and popular, and his mother is an amazing cheerleader in the stands. And the dancing girls . . .  oh, never mind - another time.

Back to my friends, Lance and Wendy. It's their second season as subscribers to the Power (they had already bought the tickets before the labor disaster). They are also known as the dynamite theater team behind Thoreau, NM - A Production Company. Please check out their theater reviews at http://iheartpgh.com/2012/03/29/monster-ink/

Bad Timing for Steeler Gurl

So last week and the weekend weren't the best times for a Steeler blogger to get the flu, what with Steeler management doing their interpretation of Queen's classic "Another One Bites the Dust." While in a Nyquil-induced stupor, I missed out on the opportunity to comment on the loss of Hines Ward, Aaron Smith, James Farrior, and Chris Kemoeatu.

Which turns out to be a good thing. I already covered the Hines Ward dilemma on February 15, and don't have much more to say about it. Yes, it's a business decision. Yes, we like to think of the Steelers as family (even though that was the Pirates' theme song). Yes, Franco Harris had a spectacularly unspectacular year in Seattle. Yes, it's all very sad. We'll miss Hines the most, but all these players have contributed great things to the Steelers, and all will be missed.

But they have all had great careers playing a game they love, and they all knew Chuck Knoll's advice would apply to them eventually - sooner rather than later, given the injuries all have suffered the past few seasons. It's time to get on with your life's work, boys - Steeler Nation loves you and wishes you well.

And now, for your listening pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE&ob=av2n

What a Steeler Gurl Really Needs . . .

$69.99 at http://www.wix.com/hollyjoffrion/herstarstore - pre-order only. Don't miss your chance, gurls - These are the perfect way to keep the Boys of Black and Gold in your heart through the off-seaseon. I would order them myself for my public appearances, but I'm afraid I'd get dizzy at that height . . .

Offseason Activities: Chasing Chase

We took Chase to the park today. I was leery, because I wasn't sure how he'd react to runners, birdwatchers, mountain bikers, and other dogs all at the same time.  My dissatisfaction with dog owners who don't control their dogs in the park made the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette - I wrote an op-ed piece years ago complaining about a Harlequin Great Dane who jumped on me, nearly knocked me down, and covered me with mud while I was running there. Check it out here: http://www.post-gazette.com/forum/20000205edstewart3.asp I didn't want to be the bad dog owner who disrupted other people's day in the park.

It was a beautiful day - 40 degrees and sunny. We took Chase to the Hot Dog Dam, an off-leash area with a creek running through it and a small pond created by the eponymous dam. On the way from the car to the dam, Chase behaved beautifully, sniffing other dogs but not barking or jumping up on people. We took him into the enclosure and took off his leash.

He had the time of his life. He was the only dog at first, so I left him with Vaughn and did a few miles running. When I returned there were about five other dogs. He was running with and after them - we realized exactly how appropriate the name Chase is.

After Chase had been there almost an hour, the other dogs and their humans left. We knew it was the right time to get Chase back on the leash and go home. Unfortunately, there is a hole in the fence around the off-leash area and Chase used it to chase after some of his new doggie friends. I grabbed the leash and gave chase myself. Fortunately, those dogs' human caught Chase and held him for me. I attached the leash and headed towards the car. As we walked back, Chase calmed down some. When we got home, he ate a big lunch and is now sound asleep on the couch.

At this rate, I'm pretty sure we'll all meet the weight requirements when training camp starts up.

Here's a bad video - taken with my phone, and offering a few close-up views of my thumb. But it's Chase in all his glory.

Different Teams, Same (or Similar) Sport

We have friends who are fans of unusual sports teams. They have invited us to go to a game of the Pittsburgh Power, an Arena Football League team that plays at the Consol Energy Center when the Penguins are away. (At least I imagine the Penguins are away, although the image of a football team and a hockey team sharing the ice is intriguing, to say the least.)

We'll be joining them on April 6, when the Power meets the Iowa Barnstormers (really? who names these teams?) in their second home game of the season. When we made the date, I scurried to the Power web site (http://pittsburghpowerfootball.com/), which I found hard to navigate. I had to go to the information for the actual game we will be attending to discover that they do, in fact, play at the Consol. I'm sure someone at Consol Energy who paid the big bucks for the naming rights wishes that information was trumpeted a little louder. I also had to dig to find the rules for arena football, which seem pretty bizarre to me. But I am intrigued, and I'll definitely report back after  the game.

The other football team in Pittsburgh is the Pittsburgh Passion, a 10-year-old women's football team that now plays at Cupples Stadium on the Southside. We've gone to several games and are huge fans. This is not powderpuff football, ladies and gentlemen. This is hard-hitting, full-contact football. The players all have full-time jobs and play for the love of the game, and that love shows. The team was undefeated in 2007, when they won the national championship, and they won the divisional championship in 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2011. Their season starts in April. Check them out at http://www.pittsburghpassion.com/

So if you're a die-hard fan of the game and not just of the Steelers, check these options out and let me know what you think.

Steeler Life After Hines?

Say it ain't so! If the Steelers let Hines Ward go, it will hurt them more than it will hurt him. The all-time leading receiver deserves to retire a Steeler, and to do it on his own very reasonable schedule. If the Steelers do cut him, he will have opportunities of all sorts: playing, coaching, broadcasting, dancing . . .  The Steelers will have unhappy fans and a growing lack of leadership on the field.

The kind of turf-roots leadership that veteran players provide is invaluable. The Steelers never fully recovered that after the retirement of Jerome Bettis. If Ward goes too, who will be the team Big Brother? And while I'm on the subject, why didn't we snag Bettis for a coaching job? And how about not losing out on the opportunity to start Ward on that career path?

And having Hines play for another team is unimaginable. After all, who remembers Franco Harris's stellar year as a Seattle Seahawk? Right.

The Annual Challenge: Offseason Activities

Every year it's the same. Football season ends. Sunday afternoons loom long and lonely without the company of the Steelers and their friends and foes in the NFL. What's a Steeler Gurl to do?

One year, we went to real estate open houses, thinking we might move.Generally,  I run, we visit the grandkids, keep up on the housework a little better. Take naps . . .

This year, I will be running, as I'm training for the half-marathon in Pittsburgh on May 6. And that's the way this whole thing started:

I'm running to raise money for the Animal Rescue League. It's the shelter where we adopted three of our four cats, and it's always been a great adoption experience. Because I joined their training team, I also subscribed to their Facebook feed. On Thursday, they posted a picture of two English Springer mix brothers, one of whom had already been adopted. I knew immediately that the other would become the dog we had just barely begun discussing.

By Saturday afternoon, Chase was firmly ensconced in our household. He's 55 pounds of loving lap dog, and we couldn't be more thrilled to have him (well, the cats could be more thrilled, but they're adjusting).

If you'd like to help my fundraising effort, go to: http://www.active.com/donate/PawsoverPittsburgh/marjiestewart

And just to inspire you, here's a picture of my new boy (sitting in the new chair, of course):

Haley's Comet Blazes into Steeler Town

The Steelers have hired Todd Haley as their new offensive coordinator, and the columnists at The Post Gazette are having a field day. Is he disagreeable, emotional, and tempestuous, or is he tough, disciplined, and determined? Will he be good for Ben, toughening him up and teaching him some discipline, or will he offend him beyond  repair?

Well, yes and no.

I've reported earlier that I disliked the cozying up between Rothlisberger and Arians. Friends don't always make good bosses - or good employees, for that matter. And I believe the Steeler offense needs some discipline, and frankly has for some time. I had hoped Mike Tomlin would instill that, but because of inheriting Arians, it didn't happen.

But what I like best is that they went outside of the Steeler organization. That's what I liked about the Mike Tomlin hire, too. As much as the Steelers and the Rooneys are all family, and we love that, sometimes the smart, business decision is to bring in fresh ideas, new ways, a different style.

And he's at least a distant relation: his father, Dick Haley, served the Steelers as Director of Player Personnel for almost 20 years.

So welcome to the family, Todd. Or maybe welcome back.

What's Not to Loathe?

Obviously, this afternoon's topic is the New England Patriots. Recently, a friend who doesn't follow football asked why so many people seem to hate this team, its coach, and its quarterback.

Well. Where to start?

How about the nickname. If the team's name is the Patriots with a long A, shouldn't the nickname be pronounced the Pates? Irritating.

The insistence on representing an entire region. Come on. Pick a city, any city. Everyone else does. (Well, except Tennessee, but at least they limited themselves to one state.)

Bill Belichick. We've already covered his wardrobe choices. But what about Spygate? Winning two Super Bowls by cheating and being punished only by fines that when compared to the budget of any NFL team were peanuts.

And finally, Tom Brady. He's sloppy (taking after his coach, I suppose) - he doesn't get his hair cut until it's long enough to look like a used string mop. Add the beard growth, which he considers hip but just looks lazy. And has anyone mentioned arrogant? Talented, sure, but not as talented as he likes to believe.

Other than that, what a fabulous team! I hope they lose by the biggest margin in Super Bowl history.

Go Giants.

Unfair and Unbalanced!

No, not Fox News. Parade Magazine. Now, I thoroughly understand that this is not a significant source of serious journalism. But how can anyone possibly justify doing a feature on Superfans that totally ignores Steeler Nation?

To add insult to injury, the Cosmopolitan-style quiz, "Are You a Superfan?"refers to the ultimate Steeler fan who was laid out wearing his Steeler gear, relaxing in his Steeler lounge chair in front of the television. But it doesn't SAY this happened in da 'burgh. And really, where else could it happen? Oh, sure, there have probably been copycat funerals (just as there are copycat towels that just aren't all that terrible), but it happened here first.

Parade is encouraging fans to log in and vote for the NFL team with the biggest fan following at Parade.com/superbowl. Should we flood the website or boycott it in protest?

Pre-Game-Day Prep

I take the day before the big game seriously. I went to the Giant Eagle and the Wine and Spirits Store to stock up on necessities.

Then I went to the gym: it was upper body day, so I worked on biceps so I can hoist snacks and beverages with ease. And some light cardio, just in case I consume mass quantities during the main event.

When I got home, I started veggie chili and barbecue bourbon meatballs in separate crock pots.

My Max jersey is clean and ready to go.

In the morning, I do lower body so I'll be warmed up for sprinting to the kitchen for more snacks for my guests. More cardio to work off the intake. Then home to redd up, straighten up, and get all in readiness.

Then maybe a nap?

All I can say now is, Go Giants.

And watch this space for all things Super Bowl tomorrow . . .

Ahh, the Suspense . . .

Or not. What's up with so many of the Super Bowl commercials being posted on line? Aren't they usually a more closely guarded secret than the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa? Every time I open Facebook or turn on the news, there's another one either released or leaked or at least being teased.

Well, I for one refuse to watch. I want to see the Clydesdales, scantily clad women drinking beer, and Jerry Seinfeld in their full glory, keeping us entertained during play reviews, time outs, and between quarters. Halftime, of course, is reserved for preparing, serving, and consuming (more) food and beverages (no offense, Madonna. Well, maybe a little . . .).

If the commercials have all been seen before the big game, why doesn't somebody just post the final score in advance? Then the only thing creating suspense is seeing when and how Kelly Clarkson bungles the lyrics to the national anthem.

Post-Pro Bowl and Pre-Super Bowl Thoughts

So, the Pro Bowl. Intentional grounding is not only not illegal, it's encouraged. And it was nice to see Ben get some great passes in when he wasn't too worried about getting sacked.

It was the highest scoring Pro Bowl ever. Yea.

A friend noticed that Bill Belichick actually wore a suit to a Super Bowl promotion event. Is it a sign of the coming apocalypse?

How much of the "Ben demands answers from Rooney Family" is media drama and how much of it is real? Certainly there could have been better communication about Arians' "retirement" to the Colts. More to come as we catch up on the story (Max has been very busy at work this week).

I don't blame the Colts for luring whoever they can - they've suffered since Tony Dungy retired. ESPN now reports that Arians has signed, but Keith Butler is staying with the Steelers. Obviously, teams not going to the Super Bowl need something to take their minds of their losses this week.

Who's having a Super Bowl party? Best menu suggestions? Leave a comment . . .

Go Giants! (can't believe I'm saying that . . .)

Big Ben's Starting, So . . .

So am I . . .  Plus, given the thunder snow Yankee Clipper we're having in da 'burgh, seeing sun is a good thing . . . The introduction made it seem like it might be a game that matters, but really, not so much. And the NBC announcers' shirts do NOT look Hawaiian . . .

Other than that, enjoy the game, folks . . .

Meanwhile, Arians' "retirement" was pretty short lived - he's reportedly going to Indianapolis. Meanwhile, Ben is still angry with the Rooneys . . .

Stay tuned - the off season might have as much drama as the season did - or, if we're lucky, even more!

Peace out, peeps - catch you at the Super Bowl (if not before)

Max

zzzzzz Pro Bowzzzzzl zzzzzzz

Could there be a bigger snoozefest?

Last week, as ESPN introduced the early game, an announcer said, "There's no football next week. It's the Pro Bowl."

Truer words were never spoken.

When the Pro Bowl was held after the Super Bowl it was at best anticlimactic. But now? Anticlimactic would be about a hundred huge steps up. What's the point of what is basically an all-star game when the all-stars - those players in the big game - aren't playing?

Has it always been an excuse for good football players to go to Hawaii? But why would people earning that much money need an excuse? Just go, already - have a great vacation. Enjoy.

But don't pretend it has anything to do with football.

Style on the Sidelines? Not So Much.

All I have to say is that Bill Belichick doesn't have it. Although someone persuaded Tom Brady to get a much-needed haircut before the big game Sunday, no one dares suggest that Belichick ditch the sweatshirt with the ragged sleeves.

Given that I've never seen him coach in anything else, I imagine he imagines it's his lucky shirt. But I remember the good old days when Tom Landry sported a suit and hat on the sidelines. Chuck Noll, although more casual, always looked pulled together in a crew neck sweater or a golf shirt. Bum Phillips was a little over the top with his cowboy hats and shearling jackets, but at least they were appropriate for Houston.

There is no location for which Belichick's sloppy, slobbish attire is appropriate.

Other coaches manage to look decent, at least, in their team gear. Mike Tomlin always looks very sharp at the games - of course, his wife is a fashion designer and probably wouldn't let him out of the house in slashed sweats.

I'm not defending the league's use of coaches as mannequins to model official team apparel. It seems eerily coincidental when several coaches are wearing their team's version of the same jacket on the same Sunday. And if Belichick's sweatshirt is in protest of that program, I don't blame him.

But couldn't he do it in a sportcoat and fedora, a la Landry?

Offensive News: Arians "Retires;" Big Ben Settles

So the sort-of retirement of Offensive Coordinator is all over the news, and I think it's good news. Mike Tomlin gets to make his first major coaching appointment rather than working with inherited staff (many of whom are fabulous. Many, but not all.). And the notorious Arians-Rothlesberger love affair must now come to an end (after a second honeymoon at the Pro Bowl). I'm guessing that when Ben wanted to play on his bad ankle, Arians supported him, to the detriment of the team. Maybe with a coach who will be tough on him, Rothlesberger can finally grow up and grow into his talent.

Meanwhile, Big Ben's attorneys came to a settlement with the attorneys of the woman who claimed Rothlesberger raped her in Nevada. I'm suspicious of all parties in this incident, but it should have taught Ben a little common sense. The follow-up event in Georgia shows it didn't. And getting married in a mega-church isn't a magic potion. Keep your zipper and your ankle elevated, Ben.

Gearing up for tomorrow's big games: stay tuned to Max Stewart Steeler Gurl!

Semi-Dark Internet Day at Steeler Gurl

Check out Google's petition on PIPA and SOPA here:

Punt Pass and Kick Gurls

Really? Really. Punt Pass and Kick competitions now include girls. They probably have for years, maybe even decades, but it was news to me when the national winners were honored in Baltimore this weekend.

This gives you an idea of how old Max is . . .  I graduated from high school the year Title IX was passed (go ahead, look it up - I'm not telling). While some larger school districts and most private schools had athletics for girls, mine had only intramurals - mostly volleyball, as I remember. A girl in my high school class could outrun every boy on the track team, but oh well. Too bad. No running for girls.

When I meet young women new to my running club, they often ask, Did you run in high school? When I explain to them why I didn't, they're amazed. About as amazed as I was when I saw girls in Punt Pass and Kick. (Yes, that title needs at least one comma, but it's the official name. Who am I to argue with the NFL? Oh, yeah, Steeler Gurl!)

So I'm thrilled to see girls competing in this and all other athletic events. I'm glad I suffer from what John "The Penguin" Bingham calls Adult Onset Athleticism. And I'm glad I learned about football from my mother, and am able to talk to Steeler Gurls across Steeler Nation.

And, of course, I welcome the guys to a brave new world of football. If the gurls hang in there, eventually there will be beer commercials that don't feature idiotic men and girls in bikinis - beer commercials that actually talk about the beer.

Number One Lesson from the Playoffs (So Far)

Hold on to the ball.

Why is that so hard? All right, I get it - if five 300-pound guys were hitting me, I might get a little flustered too . . .  but I didn't get to training camp this season; I didn't play on a winning team for the last five months; and I've always been a little clumsy anyway.

These guys are getting the big bucks to hold on to a ball. Granted, it's an oddly shaped ball that isn't all that easy to deal with. But it seems to me that the crook of the arm is designed perfectly for a football - why aren't more players taking advantage of that?

To generalize, winners are winning by holding on to the ball; losers are losing by turning it over to winners. Teams who hope to continue winning need to continue holding on to the ball and taking it away from their opponents.

In the meantime, I'm becoming reconciled to the fact that none of the teams I'm rooting for are going to win. Oh, well - and here coms a cliche - there's always next year.

Steeler Gear Revisited

So, shortly after I posted that I wouldn't be buying any new Steeler gear this year, I had a lovely surprise. I came home from work one evening and Vaughn (my long-suffering husband) said, Try this on. It was a fabulous custom jersey (picture below) that he had ordered for Christmas. He warned me a day or two before Christmas Eve that it was back ordered and would be a week or so. In the meantime, I started this blog. Here's the shirt (how amazing is that!):

Meanwhile, Steeler Nation is still proudly wearing the colors. At the Iggle (Giant Eagle, a grocery store chain, for non-Pittsburghers), I saw all sorts of jackets, hats, scarves, and even pajama pants. True Steeler fans never die. (And they never quit rooting against the Ravens - Go Texans!)

Steelers, Lifestyle, and Heredity

No, I'm not talking about Steeler fandom as either a lifestyle or a hereditary condition, although both are true in my case.

I'm talking about cardiovascular disease.

I blame the Steelers of the 70s - yes, the dream team, the foundation of the dynasty - for my mother's cardiovascular disease. During the run that lead to four Superbowl trophies and the on-going search for One for the Thumb, she had a minor stroke, long-term restrictions to her activity, open heart surgery, and a reaming out of her carotid artery.

When we look back on those glory days, we say things like, Wow. Bradshaw certainly can make the big plays.

We forget that he had no choice - there were a lot of third-and-gazillion situations, close calls, games that required Immaculate Receptions and other miracles to win.

And Beryl and I bit our fingernails through them all.

This season felt a lot like that. But don't worry - I run, don't smoke, and take my blood pressure medication.

But please, Steelers, let's win by blowout next season!

Who's Left?

There's a lot of talk about retirements and free agents in the Steeler Nation. Who knows who is going to be a part of the team in 2012, who will retire (in some cases, to lucrative media contracts), and who will move on to other teams offering more opportunities to play and more money.

In my day job, my employees are college students. They inevitably graduate. Sometimes they get better jobs and quit (you know who you are). Once in a long while, they drop out of school. In any case, I can't expect to keep a student worker longer than three years. The most frustrating aspect of running a Writers' Center is that I am always in the hire-and-train cycle. When tutors get really, good they leave.

So I feel Mike Tomlin's pain. It's hard to plan ahead when you don't know who you'll be working with. I know some players I'd work very hard to keep around (regular readers know I mean Dennis Dixon) and some I would cheerfully show the door.

Maybe this weekend I'll be more specific. But the Steeler management never takes my advice anyway . . .

The Trouble with Tebow

All right, I hadn't planned to get involved in the whole football-and-religion thing. I personally believe that God is not a Republican (or a Democrat), and God is not a Bronco fan (or even a Steeler fan).

But I do have a God-and-Football story. Years ago, probably in the early 1980s, the rector of my mother's church was invited to be the chaplain for the visiting team at Three Rivers Stadium: the Denver Broncos. His staff teased him, saying that if Denver won, they would know he had prayed for them to. He replied that he planned to pray that they played well and without injury, which is exactly what happened.

Nobody seriously believed that the prayers of the visiting team's chaplain would or did change the outcome of the game. So why do so many people believe that Tebow's Tebowing affects his success on the field? After all, there are many players who acknowledge God on the gridiron - how can God possibly make all publicly-praying athletes equally successful? The very human system insists that some win and many more lose.

I also wonder if we've all forgotten Matthew 6:6, which says:

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (NIV)

It may not be as well-known as John 3:16, and it might not have the same coincidental statistices related to it, but it is the complete opposite of Tebowing.

And while I'm on the 316 thing, check out The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's hilarious editorial on the subject. (At least I think it's hilarious, but I'll bet some irony-challenged readers are offended!)

http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=5656385274285599167

Now What?

What's a Steeler Gurl to do with her team out of the playoffs?

Well, for one thing, send good wishes for speedy healing for the poor, battered boys of black and gold. An early exit from the playoffs means more time to recover before training camp - which, incidentally, is only a little over six months away. And I hate to see them struggle so in front of increasingly larger audiences. Rest up, team. We're proud of you and your season.

But who to root for? It's easier to decide who not to root for. Obviously, not Baltimore. I shouldn't have to say anything more about that.

And I can't bring myself to root for Denver, even though I vaguely remember a high school teacher telling us that it was good sportsmanship to root for the team that beat you. Ha.

And obviously, not New England. There's an operation totally lacking class.

And I've never liked the Giants, either.

So. A colleague asked me this morning if I'd root for the Saints. Maybe. And I still like Green Bay, in spite of last year.

Let's see what happens in the next round, folks. Steeler Gurl ain't goin' nowhere 'til it's over.

A Loss to be Proud Of?

So many of us wrote the Steelers off in the outrageously horrendous second quarter. I advocated pulling Big Ben.All of that was justified.

But at half time, the team made adjustments.The offense played smarter so Ben could just pass - except for the times he ran, and god bless him for that. It made my ankle hurt.

The defense had some moments.

And I'm not making excuses, but we played without a lot of our best players, and lost more as the night wore on.

I'm a proud Steeler Gurl. They looked bad at times, but they stayed in the game. The final score isn't an embarrassment. I hope all the injured players heal quickly and thoroughly. And I'm looking forward to next season.

Go Stillers 'n at!

But Steeler Gurl isn't done yet! Stay tuned to Radio Free Max for commentary throughout the playoffs, and even the off-season!

Nice run, guys!

Mike Tomlin's Jaw

It's starting to look a little bit like Cowher's. Large and looming. Angry. And rightly so. I would not want to be the Steelers in the locker room with him right now. If this is how we're playing, let's Tebow for a loss: I don't want any more national coverage of us sucking out loud.

But if Tomlin puts Charlie Batch in and reminds the defense (or what's left of it) how to play, there's a chance. It's not that big a deficit - it just looks like it because the Steelers haven't been able to do anything for the entire second quarter. Doesn't mean we can't come back.

But we'd better do it right, and we'd better get our act together if we do win: New England is threatening in a way Denver never should have been.

Meanwhile, if Ben continues to play, and the announcers continue to say he's immobile (duh), I'm going to switch to reruns of American Pickers.

Oh, and interesting: as I write this, Coach Cowher is saying Ben shouldn't have played in San Francisco or Cleveland. You heard it here first. Or at least before now.

Can the Steelers pull a New Orleans and beat a team that never should have gotten ahead in the first place? Stay tuned . . .

No Country for Doubters

I saw a story on the news yesterday about Steeler merchandise sales in the strip. Apparently, sales are slow before the first round of the playoffs, then pick up when (yes, when, not if) the Steelers win and move on. The reporter and the interviewed shop owners seemed to suggest that Steeler Country is a Nation of Doubters, reluctant to part with their money until they've been shown it's a sound investment.

Nonsense.

We don't doubt. We're superstitious.

I know I'm wearing the same shirt I've worn all season: it got us here didn't it?

We have the same Steeler flag flying.

We have the same Terrible Towel ready to wave.

And I'm not going to buy any shirts that come out as the team moves forward. I'm waiting for that seventh Superbowl shirt.

I wish the merchants in the Strip well. But they won't see me until February.

Stay strong, Steeler Nation. Stay superstitious.

Great Video

sent by my good friend bev pollock . .http://youtu.be/eJNh2PqbSec

meanwhile, if detroit and new orleans are this close, anything can happen! what a playoff season!

Dippy Dresses Up

Nothing says Pittsburgh like Steelers and Dinosaurs! Thanks to The Carnegie for this picture.

Watch Out for the Quiet Ones

Steelers' tight end Heath Miller passed Lynn Swann and now ranks fourth on the list of Steeler all-time receptions. And he did it, to the best of my knowledge, without ballet lessons. So I expected more fanfare. I expected more press coverage. I expected at least some water cooler conversations.

Not that Miller would create, expect, or even desire hoopla. Even his unofficial fan page hasn't been updated with the news yet, a week after the Cleveland game. Mr. Reliable is also Mr. Unassuming. He always acts like he's been there before. This may be why we can add Mr. Underrated to the list.

I wonder if Pittsburghers are so used to thinking of the Steelers of the 1970s as gods that we don't want to admit that sometime, somewhere, their records will be broken and, even worse, that those magnificent players will be forgotten. In some parts of the world, they already have been (not in Steeler Nation, of course). Dallas continues to believe they're America's Team; Green Bay won the title of most popular team in a poll earlier this year; and New England . . .  Oh, never mind. We'll deal with New England another time.

The interesting thing about Miller's achievement is that once he passed tight end Elbie Nickel earlier this season, there were only wide receivers ahead of him. He's likely to catch Louis Lipps next season, and will likely end up third on the list - Stalworth's 537 seems like a stretch, and Ward's 100 would require Miller to triple his current number (more or less - there's a reason I teach English).

And that's probably just fine with Miller. Maybe being underrated isn't so bad - after all, anyone who listens to any of the national announcers during Steeler games knows that it's who we are. If being underrated gets Miller to his current position, let's hope it gets the Steelers through the playoffs.

Big Ben's Ankle Hurts? Dog Bites Man.

The Post Gazette reports today that Ben Rothlisberger's sprained ankle suffered a "setback" after Sunday's game in Cleveland. This is what journalists call a "Dog Bites Man" story - in other words, not a story at all. If "Man Bites Dog," or, in this case, Ben's ankle improves as a result of playing on it, that's news. That's a story. The routine, the logical, the predictable - not news. Not a story.

Stop me if you've heard this before, but if Mike Tomlin had chosen to err on the side of caution with Ben on Sunday, he'd be in much better shape for Denver.

Erring on the side of caution is how Tomlin explained keeping Ryan Clark out of the Denver game. Clark just can't afford to lose any more organs, and it's a sound decision to safeguard his health. When Tomlin announced that decision, he said, "This is an important game. But it's just a game." When was the last time we heard that idea in the NFL?

I just wish we'd heard it when Ben decided to play in San Francisco and Cleveland.

Football Hangover

It's not the kind of hangover many of you may have suffered yesterday morning. I woke up thinking, really? It was that tough to beat the Browns? That's when the headache and nausea started.

Now I'm not a Browns hater - the real Cleveland Browns are now the Purple Browns of Baltimore. That's the team to hate, folks. I think that Cleveland is better than the 4-12 record suggests, and eventually they will be worth reckoning with. In the meantime, we need to take them seriously as potential spoilers if nothing more. That didn't seem to occur to the Steelers in either of the games this season.

The highlights of the game: Hines Ward reaches 1000 catches, Heath Miller passes Lynn Swann's record, and Troy Polamalu's interception - we've had far too few of those this season.

The lowlights: No room to list them all, but the lowest light is probably Mendenhall's injury - now possibly a torn ACL. No Mendenhall in Denver and probably not through the playoffs. That's gonna hurt.

Gene Collier called last night's match "a brutal Russian novel of a football game." I'm not going to try to top that one.

Happy new year - tune in next Sunday for Steelers vs. Broncos in Denver. In the meantime, let's all get acclimated to the altitude.

Cleveland Game, Act II

Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy.

And I don't mean the weather or the field, although both of those were getting pretty sloppy too.

Steelers didn't win. They just didn't lose. To Cleveland, with an inexperienced quarterback.

Oh. I said that before.

I think both Colt McCoy and Senaca Wallace are talented quarterbacks with a great future in the NFL. Don't know where Cleveland finds guys with names like that, but they have great potential.

They shouldn't be using it against a team like the Steelers. Or a team like we like to think the Steelers are.

I'm glad Hines got his 1000th catch. But did we have to lose yards on some of those plays so he could?

And I'm glad Mr. Reliable, Heath Miller, beat Lynn Swann's record. I would trust him to catch my grandson if someone threw him.

But it's not all about records and statistics. And talking of statistics, did Ben's take a hit from that outrageously bad first half? I bet.

And you just can't count on Cincinnati to help us out - why should they?

So, Steelers. Love you like brothers. Can you pull it together so we don't look like total idiots in the playoffs? Because there's nothing the national announcers like more than slamming you. And as much as that pisses me off, it pisses me off a lot more when they're right.

Go Stillers! Really!

And if that snow is heading here, I'd better run to the Iggle for bread, milk, and toilet paper . . .

Peace Out, Peeps . . .

Cleveland Game, January 1, 2012

So. Happy new year?

As usual, I was posting my comments on the game on my Facebook page, and someone commented that she always enjoyed my posts. Friends who no longer live in Pittsburgh often rely on me for scores and updates during the game - I post more often and somewhat more critically than the official Steelers posts. So. I decided to blog.

And the most important thing I have to say about this game is:

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is Ben doing in this game? He said he was 60%, he's obviously limping, and we're down by three points in the third quarter. Because Ben is struggling with the pass (read: he isn't passing well. Oh, wait: he isn't passing at all.), Mendenhall got hurt.

We lost two weeks ago because Ben insisted on playing when he was 40%. We won last week with Charlie Batch.

And the announcers. Yoi, the announcers. They keep saying it's smart to play Ben because he would get rusty with three games off. How many games - how many years - had Charlie Batch been off when he stepped in and won beautifully last week?

I think we'll win this (but I owe a friend two lunches if we don't), but it sure ain't pretty. And we're going to be mincemeat for the playoffs.

Thanks, Ben.