Just after Halftime

I'm writing this now (after quite a hiatus - I know, I know . . .) because it doesn't matter who wins (for the purposes of these comments). Baltimore should be ashamed that they've had to work this hard - and should have been two weeks ago, and Cleveland should have been last week - to play a team seriously hurt by injuries, especially Big Ben's.

Now I've never bought the idea that Big Ben is the Second Coming - certainly not of Jesus, not even of Terry Bradshaw. But he's a good quarterback, and the Steelers have come to completely rely on him - so they're pretty lost without him.

As for Byron Leftwich, maybe if he had admitted to the injury against the Ravens two weeks ago, Charlie Batch could have finished that game and warmed up a little for Cleveland and for this week. I like Charlie Batch for a lot of reasons, but he's not as young as he used to be, and until last week, he hadn't played in about a gazillion years . . .

I hope he pulls this out, because of course, it matters very much that the Ravens lose (always). But in spite of all the oopses, the Steelers are not looking any worse than their relatively healthy rivals.

Go Stillers!

The Saga of the Blue Dress

So. I ordered a terrific wrap-style blue dress for my nephew's wedding from the Gap. I really don't need a new dress, but it's gorgeous, reasonably priced, and appropriate for conferences as well as weddings. And wrap-around dresses have been my favorite since the first one Diane von Furstenberg whipped up. When I ordered it, they said the free shipping would take 7-10 days. No problem - the wedding was then two weeks away. But guess what? they meant 7-10 days from the shipping date, not the ordering date. I got the email that said it had been shipped yesterday, October 11, and it said that it was guaranteed to arrive by October 23.

Well. The wedding is October 21. And how is that 10 days from anything? I suppose they mean 10 business days, but couldn't they have said so? I'm an avid Amazon shopper, so I'm used to free 2-day shipping on everything from books to televisions to pasta (yes, really, pasta). So it seems as if I actually might "fall into The Gap," for anyone old enough to remember that advertising campaign.

I took my car for service today, then went to a mall north of Clarksburg. It was such a thrill - shopping at Target, Marshall's, J.C. Penney . . .  I've been in the mountains two months now, so it doesn't take much to excite me.

Last night, the conversational Spanish class for faculty went to a fabulous Mexican restaurant in Weston. I can never imagine how people from just outside Mexico City land where they do - especially when it's Weston, West Virginia.

Wait, what's that? This is supposed to be a Steelers' blog you say? Ha!

I would never in a million years be grateful for the vice presidential debate, but this time, I am - because it tied up the networks so that the game was only on the NFL Network, which I don't get. So I didn't have to watch it. (Before the game, I said, I don't GET to watch it.) I see from various sources that there were records matched or broken, that players are outdoing the dynasty players of the 1970s.

But the difference is the teams of the 1970s WON. And usually with touchdowns, not field goals.

That is all.

Oh. And that darned dress better get here in time.

Pretty in Pink; Ugly on the Field

So let's work backwards. Yes, the Steelers won. But it was hardly pretty. The beginning was atrocious. The middle picked up a little. The end could have caused everyone in Steeler Nation to have a heart attack.

Here are my two main problems with the Steelers this year, and frankly, every year:

1. We're too willing to settle for field goals. Both of those 3-pointers should have been touchdowns. Even when Ben's having a good day, something goes wrong on third down far too often.
2. Penalties.
3. Penalties.
4. Did I mention Penalties?

Okay, that's still two. The Steelers were penalized nine times for 106 yards. 106 yards. That's a touchdown and better field position on the next kickoff. I love that we're rough and tough and play that way, but there were too many late hits that were obvious, and would have been even to the good old replacement reps. And penalties on four consecutive snaps? Ouch.

Come on, Coach Tomlin - let's get some discipline in the team. A 2-point win could easily have been a disaster.

And part two: Pink.

First, it's definitely not Dick LeBeau's color.

But more importantly: How much good are shoes, gloves, and hats on NFL players and staff actually doing in the fight against breast cancer? I know that those items are auctioned off and the funds go into awareness activities and screenings for uninsured and underinsured women. That's all fine.

But awareness? Anyone who isn't aware of breast cancer has been living in a cave. We don't need any more awareness - we don't need any more NFL gloves, yogurt labels, pink ribbons on our Facebook pages. What we need is more research - into both causes and cures. 

That said, if anyone wants to buy Max Starks' gloves for me, let me know!

Where in the World is Steeler Gurl?

Well, Glenville, West Virginia.

If you've been wondering what happened to this blog (and who isn't), I have to tell you - so am I. I found out in late June that I would be moving to West Virginia to take a tenure track job teaching English and journalism at Glenville State College. That threw the summer - and most of the preseason - into chaos.

I moved in mid-August, but my house wasn't ready until two weeks later. I've been settled in now for almost a month, but for various reasons and skipping over many long stories, I didn't have cable and internet (working internet, that is) installed until Saturday. My TV and TV stand will be delivered Wednesday.

But all was not lost for this Steeler Gurl. My husband (Hi, Vaughn!) left his laptop with the built-in television so I could watch last night's game.

That was when all WAS lost. I really don't think I have much to add to the conversation. If I were Ben, I'd be furious with what the Steelers were laughingly calling their defense. How frustrating to have such a great game - along with Heath "Mr. Reliable" Miller and other offensive players - and then to have the defense blow it so badly. It's like the Pirates leaving players on base inning after inning (not that that ever happens).

Granted, we handed Oakland the ball more than once. And the replacement officials make the Keystone Kops look like a serious crime drama.

But the big thing? The penalties. And the penalties. Did I mention the penalties?

Clean up your act, Oh Boys of Black and Gold. There's a long season ahead, and it will seem much longer if the games go the way of last night's.

Pre-Season? snore . . .

So my faithful followers (hello, you two!) may be wondering why I haven't posted about the preseason yet. I'm wondering about that myself. I used to love the preseason, and strongly objected to plans to limit it - I need to see the players in a low-stakes situation and decide who I liked and why.

Or so I thought.

But the two games so far just looked like sloppy practice sessions. Is it just me, or has the purpose and tone of the preseason changed?

And last night I had to put up with Chris Collingsworth. Sorry, Steelers, love you like brothers, but if I have to listen to his drivel to watch you . . .  Well, you know I'll always watch, but I can't promise I won't throw things at the television.

Last night was a new experience for me - I watched the game alone. I'm staying with a friend who was sick and went to bed early, so it was just me, the TV, and Chris - oh, never mind. This was a stark contrast to last week's game, which I watched with a bunch of rowdy friends and could hardly concentrate on the game at all. Of course, with that game, it was ok to miss huge chunks . . .

So I have no insightful comments. I think the Steelers totally rock and should be able to take it all, but I'm looking forward to real games, not scrimmages in disguise.

Meanwhile, it was the first day of classes. A student asked if it would hurt his grade if he wasn't a Steeler fan. I asked him who he rooted for: the Ravens. I took my pen and my tablet and wrote a giant F on the pad and showed it to him.

Really? The Ravens?

Sigh. Today's youth . . .

No Room in the Sports Pages

My friends and regular readers (about 27 total - you make the Venn diagram . . .) know that I'm not just Steeler Gurl, I'm pretty much Pittsburgh Football Gurl. I was introduced to the Pittsburgh Power, the Arena Football League team, this year, and I've long been a supporter of the Pittsburgh Passion. So when the Post Gazette did a feature on the three women's football teams in town (Passion, Force and Three Rivers Xplosion), I was thrilled. Except for one thing.

It wasn't in the sports section. It was in the magazine section.

I'm old enough to remember when the magazine was called "the women's pages" because it covered trivial things of no interest to men - recipes, household tips, advice columns. This was the same era when, believe it or not, classified ads were divided into "Help Wanted - Men" and "Help Wanted - Women."

I graduated from high school the year Title IX was passed. When younger women in my running club ask me if I ran track or cross country in high school, they have no clue why I either laugh too shrilly or shake my head sadly.

I haven't been to a Force or Xplosion game, but I love the style of play exhibited by the Passion. They play hard. They go for it on fourth down. They want the touchdown, not the field goal. And they never, ever take a knee - they play every play till the final buzzer. Let's see the NFL get behind that kind of game.

We've come a long way, baby - I think we deserve to be on the sports page.

Kousin Kordell

Pittsburgh! I was out of town for a mere 36 hours, and while I was gone, an old quarterback controversy got stirred up. I'm talking, of course, about the re-signing and retirement of Kordell Stewart - Slash.

I was always a fan of Stewart - for one thing, it was the first time I could get a legitimate Steeler jersey with my own name on it. But it was also the first time that I suspected that there was trouble in River City/offensive and quarterback coaching department.Why did such an obviously talented athlete have such a roller coaster career - or "ebb and flow" as he called it?

One factor - and that factor remains an issue for Big Ben - was lack of protection from the offensive line. Like Ben, Kordell got hit. A lot. According to Sportometry.com, Stewart lost a total of 902 yards in his career with the Steelers, an average of 7.9 yards per game - and some years were much worse than average.

Stewart took a lot of criticism. That's another occupational hazard of quarterbacking for the Steelers. Happily, Wednesday's retirement was a class act on the part of the Steelers, Stewart, and the fans.

Stewart's mobility helped redefine the role of the quarterback in the NFL. Welcome home, Kousin Kordell. We'll even forgive that stint with the Purple Browns.

Throw-Back Uniforms?

Throw 'em back! As my friend Kristin said, there's a reason why no one has worn these jerseys since 1934. I can't tell if this is a football jersey or a jail uniform, but either way, it's hideous. If I were the mannequin, I'd be grateful they didn't show my face . . .

I snagged this picture from the Steelers' Facebook photo page - what do you think, gentle (and not-so-gentle) readers?

Dahn 'air Sahside 'n Up 'air Uptahn 'n at . . .

So tonight I met my running club in the Southside. On my way back to my car, I stopped in a little shop with cool stuff in the window, where I found a memorial (there's no other word) tee shirt for the Civic (not Mellon) Arena. I asked the charming young man if it would make me too sad to wear it . . .  He said he could see the Arena from his house (not Alaska, the Arena. I believed him) and it made him very sad too . . .

So I told him my Civic Arena stories. The year the Arena opened, it hosted a celebration of Girl Scouting's 50th anniversary, and my Brownie Troop went. The seats were so high I was terrified and spent most of the event on the more solid walkway at the top, behind all the seating, peering down the aisle to see the show.

And speaking of high: In the early 1970s - I'd guess 1973 - I saw the Greatful Dead there and they had to open the roof to blow out the smoke - and I don't mean tobacco. I can still hear that "Sugar Magnolia" in my head.

I didn't mention that I was an extra there in possibly the worst movie ever made: The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh.

I've been sad ever since the final decree came down. I've been sad every time I've driven by and seen parts of the Arena hanging by a thread. My ever-prescient stepdaughter said that the fact that it put up a fight, that it refused to lie down and die, should have sent a message to those who wanted to see it destroyed. So true . . .

Did the city destroy a neighborhood when the Arena was built? Yes. We all get that now. Will the Hill come back because it's gone? We all know the answer to that, too.

When I was in junior high, there was a picture of the Civic Arena in our algebra book - a beacon of hope in a city where there wasn't much to feel pride in. We may feel we have more to be proud of now, but our respect for our past doesn't seem to be any part of it. Don't be surprised when the Arena site follows in the footsteps of the site of the lamented Syra Mosque, now an ill-kept surface parking lot. We believed the big talk about development there, too . . .

And to the Penguins and their foundation - I won't be buying a Penguins commemoration made from the stainless steel. It was the Penguins who forced the new arena, such as it is, and who refused to listen to reason on plans for the old. And as fond as I am of Wendall August Forge, when I read in the paper that they had signed that deal well before any final judgments about the Arena were made, I saw red, not stainless . . . If I ever meet Mario Lemeiux again, I'm going to tell him my plan to become famous in Montreal and then insist on destroying a major landmark there.

But in more cheerful news, our young people are getting it. The Southside store is called Decade (Wait a minute, isn't that a club in Oakland? How old am I?), and it's on Carson, river side, around 14th Street. Here's the tee (I wish it didn't say Igloo, but at least it doesn't say Mellon Arena). Go get one. Wear it to all events at the entirely unappealing Consol. Tell 'em Max sent you.

Who Has the Power?

Not the Pittsburgh Power Arena Football League team, apparently. Certainly not their players.

I made my first visit to the Consol Energy Center Friday night to see the Power with friends who are season ticket holders. More on them later . . .

There are many reasons to dislike, if not loathe, the management of this team. In order of increasing importance:

• Their annoyingly unnavigable website.
• Their offensive advertising: They plastered the school where I teach with posters that read, "Before you waste money on books . . . Get student-section season tickets." Waste money on books? Ouch.
• Their ruthless, take-no-prisoners labor practices.

That, of course, is the sticking point. To review information available on several sports news websites:  In anticipation of a strike, owner Matt Shiner fired the entire team - 24 members -- during dinner at an Olive Garden restaurant in the Orlando area before the season opener. Some players gave up their union membership and played - the rest of the positions were played by what the team called "replacement players" and what anyone else in the City of Pittsburgh would call scabs. Players who did not repent were left to find their own way back to the 'Burgh, where they found themselves evicted from player housing.

In the meantime, the team has hired back many of those players, with the significant exception of quarterback Kyle Rowley, now doing very well in Spokane, Washington.

Not coincidentally, the team has suffered in both performance and attendance. According to Adam Gretz of  the "Steelers Lounge" blog (really, guys? no apostrophe?), the Power averaged 9,480 last season, and set an AFL record with 13,904 at last season's opener.

Friday night? 4,000.

Note to Matt Shiner, and his co-owners Lance Shiner and Lynn Swann: Pittsburgh is a labor-friendly city built by union steelworkers. Also, we love football. So if you are going to break a union, and that union is made up of football players playing for the love of the game instead of the potential to become obscenely wealthy, chances are your fan base is going to shrink.

And if your team keeps losing, it is going to shrink even more.

But enough about that. The game.  OMG, the game. OMG, MSG, PTL, USB, the game. Fast, furious, and fascinating. All passing - there were fewer than half a dozen run plays, and only one of them was successful (a quarterback sneak for the Iowa Barnstormers). Go for it on fourth down every time - the field's too short to make punting a reasonable option. Extra point? The crossbar is only nine feet wide.

The Power was ahead by one point at the half (the Iowa kicker missed an extra point), but in the second half the game took on the unmistakeable air of a Steeler game - the officials turned against the home team and called penalties on nonexistent violations and refused to see blatant acts of roughing the passer and pass interference against the Power.

Things went rapidly downhill, and the game ended with a 55-42 Power loss, their third in a row.

Still. It was great fun. Bubba, the Power announcer, is fabulous - He was able to say "Hines completes the pass to Hymes" without fumbling. Wide receiver P.J. Berry is both talented and popular, and his mother is an amazing cheerleader in the stands. And the dancing girls . . .  oh, never mind - another time.

Back to my friends, Lance and Wendy. It's their second season as subscribers to the Power (they had already bought the tickets before the labor disaster). They are also known as the dynamite theater team behind Thoreau, NM - A Production Company. Please check out their theater reviews at http://iheartpgh.com/2012/03/29/monster-ink/